holy hell i havent blogged since july!!!!!!!!!!

dear bloggy blog,
im going to start off by apologizing to you for my neglect. the past 5months have been well crazy.

i just read my last post from july & well things have changed since then. for one the boy and i started talking again soon after that blog was written. and about a month later we officially became a duo. christmas eve will mark 4months together. he's not one for celebrations but since well not going to lie hes my 1st bf ever i take it serious. its important to me to experience all the 1st's. 1st kiss 1st dinner with the parents 1st holiday together 1st fights... 2nd fights.
its been hard but i think im getting the hang of it. i think my only problem is. well i guess ive been such a negative person for so long that my mind and the way i think and spin things in my brain will always turn into something negative.

which leads to this... maybe all the negativity in my brain that i think about. that i think that goes on isnt just my mind playing me. maybe its the truth.

so i wonder am i a big idiot to try to believe evertyhing?


anyway xmas is coming up idk what am getting for xmas... probably nothing.

one of my favorite xmas songs... not so happy & pleasant but its such a classic :D